Last night we went to a concert by Jason Mraz. My husband got us tickets for the concert, months ago, which is a small miracle, as many people didn’t manage to get them.
Very early yesterday morning my body threw a wrench in the fire of anticipation. I felt really sick, the gastrointestinal kind (be grateful I won’t elaborate on that 😀 ). I lay in bed feeling like a very sick puppy, and wondered if I would ever make it to the concert.
Wanting to go there so much made me do something I often find hard to do: take fantastic care of myself. I ate what I knew would help me, I drank vile tea (with sugar, ewwwwwww) ate bananas and soup. I made it to the concert. We sat in the back because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand in front of the stage.
I have seen him live one time earlier, and there I found one thing that is undeniable: going to a Jason Mraz concert is like being bathed in love. On stage stands a man who understands love and who knows how to share it with his fans. He is wise, funny, poetic and silly. He handles hecklers in a way that makes you laugh until tears run down your cheeks. He makes you realize that you are blessed to be there.
I felt blessed last night. I felt tears stream down my cheeks at more than one occasion. At one point I realized: this is what you deny yourself, Sylvia. At that moment I felt SO much love for my body, that even though it went through all that turmoil, it still enabled me to experience the music I love SO much!
When we drove home, I read a blog post by the wonderful Megan Monique. EveryWednesdayshe invites her readers to post a wish. I wrote this: “I want to open myself fully and completely to the love that shines deep within me, and then radiate it to the world. I have denied my body and mind this love for so long, it is time all I am radiates love.”
It may sound silly, but it feels like I have found the holy grail. Self-love is so much more than just loving yourself. Self-love radiates out of you, makes you a beacon of love for all, even the neighbor that makes a lot of noise in the morning, or the woman you see at the grocery store.
It’s not a hippie peace kind of love. It is a love that rises above all the noise and bustle of our earthly life. It’s a love that says: hey spark, I am a spark too, and I think we both are awesome!
The pieces of the puzzle that is Sylvia are falling into place rapidly. I am becoming my Self faster than I can say oomph! And you know what? I love the person I am. Every aspect, every curve, every silly thought. It’s bliss.
Today I am going to rest and give my body time to heal from the GI onslaught from yesterday. I will drink lots of water and I will make myself some soup for lunch. And I will write. Lots of words, because writing is love too.
I am going to end this post by sending you love. May it spark a seed in you as Jason Mraz did for me.