I have a confession to make. I am not a follow-through kinda gal, usually. I decide to try out something new, and then after a while, get bored or frustrated and stop doing it.
One of the things I have stopped doing is playing the ukulele. For the past months I have abandoned my daily five minutes of practice. Only this week I started again, and learned something surprising about myself.
You see, one of the reasons I've stopped playing the ukulele is because of the B-chord. It makes me feel like I have a million fingers, and none of them work together.
To illustrate this further, for the b-chord you have to press two strings down with one finger, and the strings above that with one finger each.
Before, it felt completely unnatural to me and I gave up. And started again. And gave up.
Today I practiced the b-chord again and it felt a little less alien. Just a little. It also felt completely joyful. In my mind the song that comes with the b-chord started to play. I grinned when I contorted my fingers into the strange move from g to b to c. I practiced it again and again, without fail, and all of a sudden I played a completely awesome first verse. Just like that.
It taught me something about myself. In part: again. The thing I knew? I am bloody impatient and that causes me to not follow-through on things I really want to do.
The thing I've learned? I love to practice, because it makes me feel joyful deep inside. When I look beyond the growling and the anger, all I see is tremendous joy.
And that is bloody awesome.