4 x 12 part 1

Tomorrow I turn 48. When I was a little girl I used to think that people at that age were ancient. Now I know that the only difference is than I’m feeling a deep sense of freedom, something I hardly felt at that age.

That is the fun thing about turning 48. I can choose what I want to be. Every day.

I choose to let the child in me shine. I choose to be 4 x 12, or when I really feel like being bonkers: 8 x 6.

I had my first period on the day I turned 12. I was told I now was a woman, and should behave like one. I still feel like somewhere in my childhood I lost the ability to play, due to having to act like a big girl. Due to being shouldered with all the shit people tossed on me, and having the feeling I had no way out.

This upcoming year, the 4×12 year as I like to call it, I am going to explore the childlike wonder at the world again. I refuse to call it growth. Growth is planting a seed and nurturing it into something beautiful. I call it clearing the muck. Through play, creativity and exploration I’m going to clear all the stuff that is keeping me from growing.

I enter this without any expectation or goal other than inspiration. Inspiring myself and others to keep at it, to do this, no matter what obstacle is in my way!

Clear away the gunk and get that wonderful seed inside all the air and space it needs to grow, and sparkle in the light.

Because we are meant to do that, sparkle, giggle, feel joy and love in abundance.

I’ve forgotten what that’s like along the way and I thought that it was meant to be this way. Today I’m tossing all those silly preconceptions out of the window, and start crating a new reality.

I know it will be fun! 🙂

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