Another week, another blog fest!!!
The rules are: post on your blog the answer to this brain-teasing question: What are the 12 things I hate most about the holiday season?
Here are my 12! Warning: my snarky side is out in full!
- The loss of importance of our country’s original version of Santa (St. Nicholas or Sinterklaas, on dec. 5) in favor of Santa. The shop windows used to be fully decorated with Sinterklaas, and then Santa came after. Now Santa comes at the end of November, or even earlier, and gives Sinterklaas the finger!
- Food. More food. Even more food. Burst out of your dress yet? No? Good! More food!
- Special sale on dec. 26! Come bu the godawful stuff we couldn’t sell before Christmas. We bought it for cheap in China, and even taking off 50% of the prize earns us money. We don’t care that you will throw it away next year, you can always come again to buy some more useless shit from us on Dec. 26 next year! Special sales are awesome for that!
- No, I don’t want to sponsor your charity now. It is December, yes. But, there are still bills to pay and I don’t feel like throwing around money just because t’is the season for giving. If I think your charity is cool, I will put you on the list for consideration next year. Now go.
- Kids screaming for toys in the stores. Loudly, kicking and yelling and pulling at their parents’ arms, turning up the volume, even more, when they don’t get their way straight away.
- Stop using Christmas as an excuse to make sickening movies. My tears can’t be jerked by them. There is only one ultimate Christmas movie. That one doesn’t even have Christmas in the title. That’s class.
- Just because it is the new year, doesn’t mean that I want to suddenly go and kiss complete strangers. Keep your kisses for those who love your alcohol stinking breath.
- Dear Coca-Cola, stop making those awful holidays are coming bling bling pick up truck ads. Every time I see your ads, I feel like killing an elf! And stop making me think you are responsible for creating Santa. It’s been debunked already but commerce always likes to get its way.
- No, I don’t want to buy baubles in this year’s hot color. And no, I don’t want a Santa shaking his ass either. And you can keep your green, yellow, blue, red, pink, green blinking Christmas tree too!
- The slow death of billions of trees. ‘Nuf said.
- I will never understand why firecrackers are fun. Or other ridiculously loud fireworks.
- No, not even your beautiful new holiday farm with extra reindeer will get me back to Farmville.