How I change my mind

I’ve learned so much about myself, my mind and my life this past year. When I look back I can see that there was value in being forced to stop moving and sittings still. 

Last year, was all about finding stillness. This year I’ve found it, kicking and screaming. 

I wasn’t all sage-like, though. I wasn’t all meditative and perfect throughout the year. I’ve cried, I’ve been depressed, I’ve screamed, I’ve said a countless number of times that it isn’t fair, I’ve sat wondering if my life has meaning still. 

Most of these things come in the wake of severe pain, I guess, along with some other nasty friends. 

It’s a process that you can allow to be a teacher, though. I didn’t let it teach me at first, I was too consumed by resentment, anger and the nasty side effects of painkillers. 

I’m changing things now, though. I was awake early, coughing and thought to myself, “Oh gods, I am going to be sick for weeks! Can’t do anything then, there is so much to be done!”

Instead of letting those thoughts drive me into depression, I added some oil to my diffuser and turned it on, got some water because my water bottle was empty and then sat down to read, and I’d been reading for a couple hours before I sat down to write this post. 

Yesterday, I wasn’t feeling well either, and instead of dwelling on those feelings, I grabbed my phone and played my favourite game while listening to my favourite music. 

After that I worked on my novel and took pictures of the cat. 

I still wasn’t feeling well, but I had too much fun to take note of it 🙂

So, this is how I change my mind.

I change my mind by doing what I love, by having fun, by caring for myself. 

And of course, I’m not always perfect at is, as I am in those two examples. Sometimes, a good cry is needed to get back into this frame of mind. 

What matters is that I know where I am headed, where my focus truly longs to go. 

In that, the slogan “Do what you love.” becomes a signpost for a better emotional life too, in very unexpected ways. And that makes life a true adventure, even if you aren’t able to walk 🙂

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